4 Years Ago

Four years ago Mother's Day was hard.

Every year now around Mother's Day I think back to that year and I'm even more thankful for the two little blessings I have been given.

Let's go back to that year for a moment.  Matthew and I had been trying for about a year and a half to get pregnant.  I was trying a little harder than him, he was okay with waiting a little while and had faith in God's timing while me not so much I wanted a baby now.  I was to the point where every pregnancy announcement by a friend or aquaintence was enough to send me to tears.  I wanted to be pregnant so bad.  I wanted a baby, and I was starting to worry it wasn't going to happen for me.  That year we had a big get together for Mother's Day with one of the sides of my family and when it was time to eat, my dad said "okay all the mommies get to go first"  I lost it!  I broke down in tears.  I wanted to be a "mommy".  Little did I know I would find out in the 2 weeks I was expecting ( so for those of you who haven't figured it out, I already was pregnant on Mother's Day just didn't know it, haha which may explain some of the extreme emotions I had, had in the weeks leading up to that day)

Now looking back I can also tell you, it was God's plan all along.  I think about the extra time alone Matthew and I accomplished and the things we did.  We were remodeling a house like major remodeling and I can't imagine having a baby during that time.  Then the October before I had Noah my parents announced to us they were getting a divorce.  It was totally unexpected and something that has forever changed a lot of aspects of my life and who I am.  It was a  few really tough years following that.  But that news was in October and in January Noah, our first was born.  It was perfect timing.  His name means peacemaker, and he truly was.  He brought a broken family together.  He helped turn all of my daily tears to joy.  He gave me something else to think about and focus on.  He lived up to his name and helped give us a new joy!

For those of you that have been trying and I'm sure some of you have been waiting longer, and it hasn't happened yet, I'm  so sorry.  I have friends who want to be mom's and have waited longer than I did.  I pray for them a lot, because I know the feeling and can't imagine waiting longer than I did. I understand that desire and the pain in "waiting".  If that's you, let me know I would love to add you onto my momma in waiting prayer list!  I also want to encourage also to enjoy the time you have now, time to do what you want.  Time to do things with your husband and hobbies you enjoy .  I know you probably hear that a lot and some days it may make you mad, but you never realize how awesome being alone and having no one to care for sometimes is until you don't have that option anymore.  I wish I would have just relaxed more and had more faith that it was going to happen when it was time.  Someday when you become a mom, I'm sure you will look back and be thankful for some of the extra moments you had and see how well the timing of your little was actually was!

If you are waiting I would love to know and will honestly pray for you!

To all you current mom's Happy Mother's Day, we truly have the best ( but sometimes incredibly hard) job on the planet!