Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Mommy Wars

I'm sure you all have seen it, the blog post about titled "Mom on the Iphone."

If you haven't you can read it here.

I read it and while it made me feel guilty to a certain degree, I also started thinking about all the judging that we as moms do to other moms.  We jump to conclusions without knowing the "real circumstances"  we are only judging from what we see on the outside.

 I recently read " No More Perfect Moms" by Jill Savage (if you haven't read this yet, please do!  It's awesome)  and she tells a story about someone she knew who took her kids to the park and saw other kids playing and noticed their mother sitting in her car instead of playing with her children.  She immediately started judging her and thought negatively about why she wasn't playing with her kids.   It then wasn't too long later, the mom who judged was pregnant, had terrible morning sickness and her children begged her to take them to the park.  She agreed with one stipulation, I cannot play with you today I will take you but will only be able to watch.  As she sat there watching her children play she realized she was now "that mom" the one who couldn't get out of her car to play with her kids.   She in that moment thought of all the things that could of really been going on to the mom she originally saw that day.  She wished she would of looked at her with grace instead of criticism.

If most of us think, I'm sure most can relate and remember a time where we have judged another mom.     I know before I had kids I would always see how another kid behaved and thought mine will never do that, mine will never  talk to me like that and now those things are what I deal with every day.  I want to show grace not just in my actions but in my thoughts as well.  I want to stop the judging!

And that brings me to this article that is kind of the rebuttal to the "Mom on the Iphone"  

This one is long, but an interesting read for sure and you can read it here.

I know my children will only be young once.
I know that we are a way too connected society and a lot of people have their phones glued to them at all times.
I believe in having balance.
I don't think my boys need my attention ALL the time.
I believe my boys should learn to play on their own and have time when they do so.  And when those times are occuring, I don't see a problem with being on my phone.  Sometimes what I'm doing on it is beneficial and family planning, and sometimes it's definitely not.
I know my boys feel loved.
Should I be more intentional about putting my phone, or the ipad down when they "need" me?   Yes, I do believe I should and that's what I'm pulling away from these articles.
I know that for me there are times when I have to be intentional and keep my phone in a different room so I'm not distracted and have the uninterrupted time with my boys.  ( because I'm the queen of distractions.  I can't walk to the bathroom without stopping 3 times to do something else)

I'm not sure for my main reason in this post but I know I wanted to share these two articles because I  think there is something for us mommas to think about in each one.


  1. both great articles. i've been judged as a mom by giving my littlest little a cell phone. i had my reasons (wrote a post on it) and was so annoyed that another mom even thought that she could say anything to me about it. it's not as if i handed my child a pack of cigarettes! anyway, i try not to judge as i don't know all the circumstances and it's not my job to be another woman's boss or jury. us mom's need eachother and our support of eachother and that's my hope for us. we have a tough job! :)

  2. We sure do need each other's support! Mothering is hard. I never could of imagined how hard it truly is but at the same time wouldn't trade it for anything!

  3. I completely agree with you. I recently read the mom on the iPhone article an immediately felt guilty. But then I realized what about all the time I do spend with him playing and havin fun? Don't I deserve 2 to 3 minutes here or there to check fb or comment on the blogs I love?? The answer is yes and thank you for posting this! Just saw your blog on Holly's and I love it! Totally following now!

  4. totally agree. ive been trying to keep as much "media" away as possible for me and the kids. it bothers me that they know lines from nemo, lilo and stitch, and cars but have i thought about teaching them a bible verse? obviously they can memorize if they know the movies.

    but at the same time, if im on my phone with a dr or with a family member then i need to teach them to be respectful. its all about balance! kids need to learn to play on their own, to entertain themselves!

    love the two sides of it. i hadnt read them so thanks!